Handling challenging conversations in the workplace is crucial, yet knowing when to delay these discussions can prevent issues from escalating. As Marlene Chism points out, poorly timed conversations can lead to increased problems. Here are three scenarios where delaying a conversation might be the most strategic move.
1. When You’re Angry
Anger often sparks the impulse to address issues immediately, but it’s a deceptive motivator. When you’re angry, your brain’s decision-making center, the pre-frontal cortex, is less effective, leading to reactive rather than thoughtful responses. Acting from a place of anger often focuses more on winning than resolving.
Don’t: Don’t act on initial angry impulses or make decisions based solely on how you feel in the heat of the moment.
Do: Take time to calm down and assess the situation more objectively. Consider sleeping on the issue or preparing your thoughts before engaging. Remember, your anger is a signal that something needs addressing, but it should be approached calmly and constructively.
2. When They’re Emotional
Timing is everything, especially when addressing someone who is emotionally upset. Engaging in a conversation when someone is emotionally charged can hinder effective communication and resolution.
Don’t: Avoid getting drawn into reacting to their emotional state or attempting to “fix” it on the spot. Avoid making insincere promises just to ease the tension.
Do: Acknowledge their emotions with empathy, such as saying, “It seems like this is really hard for you.” If emotions are too high, suggest taking a short break and agree on a time to continue the discussion. This approach respects their feelings while ensuring the conversation remains productive.
3. When You Haven’t Prepared
Entering a difficult conversation unprepared can lead to misunderstandings and ineffective outcomes. Successful discussions require clarity on the issues and desired outcomes.
Do: Gather all necessary facts and be clear on the behaviors or issues you need to address. Connect these issues to business outcomes to provide clarity and purpose in the conversation.
Don’t: Don’t engage in the conversation without a clear understanding of the issue or without knowing what changes you seek. Avoid relying on flattery or manipulation instead of clear, direct communication.
Avoiding necessary conversations can stem from a lack of communication skills, fear of emotional reactions, or doubts about the support for their efforts. Effective communication involves preparation, empathy, and strategic timing. Postponing conversations strategically can lead to more constructive outcomes and help maintain a positive organizational environment.
